Apologising

Hey reader...

I'm terribly sorry but i am in no condition to post the rest of The Loss right now. It's been a long, hard day. Had to go file an FIR for my phone, apply for a duplicate SIM, buy a new phone AND buy new football studs for myself... Then i had to spend the remaining part of the day including now getting used to the phone and it been killing me... i bought a Fly Hummer HT1... its a GOOD phone. Very Good. Just very new to use.. i hate the fact that i lost my precious Nokia N91 but i gotta move on from that now...

But for now, i'm dead tired.. im sorry but i assure you that ill post the latter parts of that story asap.

\m/rock.in.peace\m/

The Loss

Ok. So i made a blog today. But that was just how i decided to wind up my day. A lot had happened in the 23 hours before i wrote this, and not much of it was really GOOD, so to say.

--FLASHBACK--
HOW IT ALL BEGAN - The Loss

Let me take you back in time. I'll start with Sunday, the 11th of May. It wasn't just any other Sunday. It was different. See, on Sunday afternoon, my mom and elder sister were packing their bags. They had a train to Bombay scheduled @ 4.30 and had to resolve to last minute because my sis and I threw our parents a pretty big party the night before to celebrate their 25th anniversary (it was on 24/04/08 but my sis had exams going on in her law college in Jodhpur). Anyway. So the house was all a huge mess and a cloud of confusion hung over our heads. My sis did manage to stuff a few thousand bags of a million kilos each with all the stuff she needed urgently (actually there were 6 or 7 but who cares, right).
They even managed to catch the train, all bags intact (and a Rs.1000 fine too).

Then, weird stuff started happening.

That same evening, the English Premier League was set for its grand finish. Chelsea and Man U went into their ties level on points and Chelsea had to put up a better show than Man U to seal the league. The task would never be easy, but someone had to step up to the plate and create some magic. I sat with my friends Bonny, Niloy, Tin Tin, Aparna, Adarsh and a friend of his @ Adarsh's place with a decent supply of chips and cold drinks while we kept swapping between ESPN and Star Sports to keep a tab on events. Soon enough, disaster for us Chelsea fans. Man U scored from a penalty away @ Wigan and it was an uphill battle. Chelsea did take the lead @ the Bridge but learnt a VERY valuable lesson. 1-Goal leads are NOT a safe option and are almost NEVER enough. Wigan taught us that a month ago and Bolton made us revise that chapter. They scored and nullified Chelsea's chances of regaining their championship.

Things didn't end there though. At almost 9pm, while the games were still well on, i got a call from my dad. He said he was coming to pick me up and take me to CR Park. Ths where my nani (grandma) resided. At 8.50pm, she had passed away. My mom was on a train quite a few hours away from Delhi when she got the news. She would be in Bombay while her own mother was to be cremated. The sights and sounds and the whole air in and around the house was terrifying. Never in my 17 years alive had i seen any of my aunts shed a tear. As i slowly walked into my grandma's room, i saw and heard them cry their lungs out. Their husbands feared the worst, some believed they had to stop their wives before they slipped into mental trauma and disturbance. I saw my grandmother shrunken and pale blue. her jaw was wide apart and stiff. She passed away in her sleep after dinner.

I sat there, amongst the tears and the sad faces, hardly bothering about the Chelsea loss that my best friends Daksh and Surabhi (both Man U supporters) tried reminding me of, only 2 learn about a much bigger loss.

As i spent the whole night sitting in front of the body, which now lay on ice to preserve it till the cremation scheduled for the morning after, i learned that life was a lot more than money and fame. At the cremation, these thoughts were cemented. I saw my grandmother burn. a few hours later, the priests came out of the electric crematorium chamber with a red hot steel bowl of my grandmothers ashes. Then it hit me. That's all life was worth. Whatever one may do, however u may look, whatever hair style u keep now... none of this would matter in the end. Because when the end would come, you're just going 2 be burnt. Most of your ashes would fly away from the hot vessel once cold water is run into it. The rest would be put into a pile of ash where no two bodies could be distinguished and a couple of your bones would be poured into a holy river up north. That's how it will end. Period.

I now had to face the days ahead representing my family at all the prayer ceremonies and cremation. I would have to live with the guilt that my mom couldn't attend her OWN MOTHERS funeral for the rest of my being. I know (god forbid this but) if my parents were to pass away before i do, i would at least want to be at the cremation to see them one last time before they went away. And day in and day out, the picture of the burning body would flash in my head. Nothing seemed to go my way. And unfortunately, this was just the beginning.

(to be contd...)

Hopes and Dreams

MY FIRST TIME

I never really got the idea of people keeping blogs but thought that since just today, i officially passed school @ 8am, and got admission to my first choice of college, life's starting all over again. Kind of anyway. Hence, with a flash of enlightenment and inspiration, i figured i might as well share my experiences.

And yea.. it feels weirdly nice to have a space for myself... a place i can speak all i want without anyone giving me any bullshit in return (or any weird look... OR THE CRAZY EYES!!!). Plus, I've been on an overdose of a show called HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER... BARNEY STINSON.. The guy INSPIRED me to do this for myself.. he made his blog just sound so cool, i HAD to do it myself :P

Also, since i dont have the college worries anymore, i got a month of "nothing to do" time!! this SHOULD help me survive it.

And yea.. the name.. Speranze e Sogni. I cud never have come up with that myself.. i even thought of naming this page BHATTA'S WORLD. Then, i remembered babelfish! Apparently (and pardon my italian) Speranze e sogni means HOPES AND DREAMS in italian.. that would've been the name i probably would have ended up with had it not been for that site.

But yes, this page is gonna be (atleast ill try making it) the narration of the story of my life (again, i got inspired by future ted from HIMYM :P ). Ill try putting in everyone and every AWESOME event from my life in text and post it on this page.. Ill honestly try.. ;)

And well, if this page gets boring (it mite already have nailed that impression but incase it still hasn't), blame it on my friends. I cant REALLY play computer games all day all night and be the most AWESOME person now, can i?

And with that, since i'm running out of ways to introduce this blog, i shall now sign off with dignity intact...

\m/rock.in.peace\m/