Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Trust

Dear reader,

I'm sorry for last night. I was desperate to get some sleep in. Anyway, the next chapter is here... i've tried to find ways of ignoring this bit and moving on but i think its best if i get this confusing phase off my chest...

--TRUST--

It had been a couple of days since i had come back from Haridwar, with a lot changed in the way i thought and my perception of things. It was here.. I'm sorry ill have to edit most of the details here since all the people in this story are still very dear to me and i don't wanna mess things up with anyone.

-- INFORMATION REMOVED SINCE PEOPLE INVOLVED WERE NOT OK WITH IT --

That instance, when i got to know that HE got to know, i lost all my TRUST.. i didn't think anyone was really worthy of it and that in the end, everyone had a motive. I stayed up till the break of dawn pondering all possible thoughts about this.. the whole four months came running back into my head. I still won't let it get over. I don't think it is. I hope SHE is reading this.. All of these things made me stronger and made me realise that i shouldn't give up easily. She means too much to me to let it slip away.

And though a LOT of things killed me when i thought about em (, there were a lot of other things i learnt from those 24 hours. One of the guys who spilled it, my best friend from the gang, proved exactly why i thought of him as that. Every time i got another message from HER or something else got messed up, the first thing i tried to do was throwing my phone away (MY DEAR N91!!!) and trying to break all contact with the world and run away. Every time i did that. EACH of the 9-10 times i threw it (once into a garbage disposal), he made sure to pick it up and not let me run away (being faster than me when it came to running obviously helped him too). The trust that had been dented, though didn't get fully revived, but a lot of it sprung back up. That's when i realised what friends are for. and yes, it is true that a friend in need IS a friend indeed. Period.

I realised that i HAVE to learn not to give up on life and all these things that revolve around me so easily. I realised that no matter what i say to them, even if they aren't at fault, my friends are going to be there more often than not.

I learnt that my life had a reason. It had its worth and had a value. I meant something to some people at least. And i learnt that no matter what i post in this blog i chose to write, SOMEONE WILL READ IT!

6 comments:

Unknown said...

assuming there's an XYZ:
which is a weird thing to say coz hey ur not that retarded to make up a story :P

u cant stop trusting EVERYTHING just coz one idiot screwed up
coz hey he's an idiot :)

uv got so much going on in your life, im sorry about yr grandma...ok i dont wanna bring it up coz it'll just get me thinking of my own..

well ishaan-man, i hope things work out for you

that DVD thing was funny :P your luck :)

XYZ: if it was me..id forgive the guy,obviously he didnt mean to hurt you.

Anonymous said...

shit man... after reading this i feel even more guilty... i cracked the 'how i met ur mother' joke and i'm at fault for accidentally spilling it out... but if someone had to be blamed... it shud have been me not the poor guy... he knew nothing about it... i hope she(XYZ)reads it and realizes wat she has done and forgives him... she shud know how much she meant to him!!!

Anonymous said...

well..first of all realli sorry fr yr grandmother..my condolences..anyways i hope u and "XYZ" ll get bak together soon..and since every1 has got ok wid it now...hoping fr the best

Anonymous said...

first up...wat the hell is a 4 month anniversary !!!
it's like another way of sayin...I'm bored with this !!!

then....XYZ or ABC....u thought a lot of things...but did u ever think if she was worth doing all this u were doin !!!
if she couldn't trust u on one small thing like a word spilled...then i really don't think she's worth any hassle...to be frank...i had cracked the most HIMYM jokes that day and although I had full control on my tongue...I did mean some of the things I said(one of them was winning the slap bet)...if XYZ couldn't allow u to tell him then she surely had no right to go out with u...that's more like saying...hello...will u fill this void in me called boyfriend deficiency...if u don't I'll have to find someone else but just bcoz ur close to him...can u plz oblige...

If you take offence to any of these things I just wrote...I just have to say....
YES OFFENCE !!!!

peace...
\m/

Anonymous said...

mr pokey.......
i think u need some 'shut up' classes. what u think is what U WANT to think... dont make assumptions about somebody without knowing what she feels..n is.
what she was going thru..
what she LOST...
u ppl just know how to blame others..
for ur satisfaction...

so.. step into HER shoes once n feel what she went thru.

n u mite b the "deficiency" kinds... dont asume others to b like U.
FOR GODS SAKE... MIND UR OWN BUSINESS.

Anonymous said...

hmmm......
ive already told you what i thought.
just one thing...you know this one...and ive already reminded you...but here it is.
it feels great...
success is failure turned inside out,a silver taint on the clouds of doubt,so give your last and aim for the best,
believe in your love... and leave the rest.
thats it. just dont lose faith ishaan....it doesnt do anything good.
again, im hooked to your work..as usual..touche!